|Words by me, picture provided by Google.|
Sitting here alone in the dark I find myself contemplating on all of the decisions I have made in me lifetime. While some were all wrong or right for all of the wrong reasons. Some leaving me hurt and bleeding from the inside out. I still cannot bring myself to regret not a one of those choices. Even though with a different one I may be richer, more successful and maybe even happier, I have to ask myself would it be worth it if changing even the smallest thing meant losing anything/anyone I hold dear and near to my heart and soul. Regret is a word I will forever stricken from my vocabulary for it holds no place in the woman that I am nor the even more glorious one that I plan to become. I will hold within me all of the pain, the hurt, the sorrows, the madness and the rage, but along with it I will also embrace the love, the joy, the passion and most importantly the knowledge.
Many people whom have lived even a fraction of all the obstacles I have overcome and still must endure have not even lived to tell their tail or have succumbed to that darkened place within their hearts, minds and souls and retreated to a place of no return. There are plenty of times I have wanted to let go and just tell life 'NO MORE!', I have not, I will not, I shall not. I embrace the darkness within me along with the light, even though it is a constant struggle I will never give up this fight. I will continue to laugh in the faces of people who want no more than to see me suffer and watch me break down and descend into a downfall i which I can never climb my way out of, I vow to never give them that satisfaction. One day not too far in the future my name WILL be in print and my dedication will read:
TOO ALL YOU BITCHES WHO FOOLISHLY THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HATRED, IT WAS ALL THE MOTIVATION I EVER NEEDED.